A Fear of Needles is Not an Excuse
I have been afraid of needles my entire life, especially needles used for taking blood. When I was eleven, I passed out in the hallway after having my finger pricked. Just pricked! There were times in my life when the mere anticipation of having blood taken was enough to make me lightheaded. In June of 2013, five days after turning 18, I was sworn into the United States Air Force. I decided on the first day of basic training, a day all cadets are turned into human pin cushions, I was not going to pass out an
ymore, but I still wasn’t any less afraid of needles. I am happy to say I no longer passed out in the presence of a needle, but I had other issues to overcome.
Shortly after completing basic training at the United States Air Force Academy I met a classmate named Christian. Christian’s family lived on the base and he had a little brother named Conner who was five years old at the time. I became very close to that family during my time at the Academy. When I met Conner I couldn’t help but notice he had a big beautiful bald head and he was instructed not to touch anybody because he could get sick. I found out that Conner was undergoing treatment for a rare form of bone cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma. During his treatment, Conner had three ribs removed, a piece of his lung taken out, twelve blood transfusions, a bone marrow aspirate, and multiple other procedures, all before turning six years old.
In 
December 2013, Conner’s mother, Cristie, helped set up a bone marrow and blood drive. I volunteered to help with the event. I intended to put myself in the bone marrow registry, but I had not planned to donate blood. People had been asking me all day if I would be donating blood. Each time I shook my head no, saying, “I am just too afraid of the needles.” Then, in walked Conner, with his pale skin, dark circled eyes, infectious smile and his backpack full of IV Chemo meds. He ran up to me and asked if I was going to donate energy. I again said no, because I didn’t think I was brave enough.
As I mentioned, Conner had received multiple blood transfusions. He called them his “energy transfusions.” He told me that he was scared the first time he got energy, but it made him feel so much better. At five years old Conner wasn’t afraid of needles, but at 18 and perfectly healthy, I refused to donate simply because I was scared. I decided at that moment my fear of needles wasn’t a good enough excuse not to donate. If Connor and kids like him, at only five years old, can face needles, then so could I. December 11, 2013 was the first day I donated blood. I asked another cadet to hold my hand when they put the needle in my arm, and I cried because I w
as still afraid, but lots of kids out there need my “energy”.
I transferred from the Air Force Academy to the University of Arkansas at the end of my freshman year. On my first day of classes I got an e-mail about an on campus blood drive. I decided I was going and ended up being late for my very first U of A class because I was donating.
Conner is now 2 years NED (no evidence of disease), but there is a possibility that his cancer could recur. The knowledge that people could die if we choose not to give blood is scarier than any needle. The idea that my blood can make a child fighting cancer feel better is more empowering than I could ever convey.
I still don’t love needles, but the thought of all of the people who desperately need this life saving elixir motivates me to donate. I have donated nearly every eight weeks since that fateful day in 2013. I started for Conner and continue for every single person fighting for their life. I do it for all of the people who want to and can’t. I donate because I am told we save three lives for every one pint we give. Our blood is a superpower, and we should share it.